Just listening to my music, and came across this song by Otis Redding ...
Turn me loose
There ain't no use
Free me darling
Don't hang me up
Let me go from your love, now
Just like a prisoner
You got me chained and bound
Unlock 'em, Let me go, let me go
Get 'em from around
Turn me loose
There ain't no use
Free me baby, Let me go, Turn me loose
From your love, now
You know I did love you, yeah
Do anything in the world for you
I try my best, I try my very best, yeah, please
The way your treating me
Keep me in misery
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
To walk away
It's up to you
To say we're through
Free me baby, let me go, turn me loose baby
From your love
I got to tell you, Listen this
I know sometime
I wonder do you really love me
And if you don't, if you don't
You got to let me know
Let me go
Your love is not shown
Break these chains
Make them tearing apart
Let me love again
Turn me loose
There ain't no use
Let me go, darling
If you don't want me
Free me
Let me go
Unchain me
From your love
- Otis Redding 1969
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A Change is Gonna Come
This song was originally written by Sam Cooke ... but it's been covered many times ...
I was born by a river, oh my
In this little old town
Just like this river
I've been running ever since
It's been a long
Lord, I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come, now
Oh yes it is, my oh my oh my oh my
It's been too hard livin', oh my
And I'm afraid to die
I don't know what's up there
Beyond the clouds
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come
Oh yes it is, my oh my oh my
There's a time
I will go to my brother, oh my
I would ask my brother
Will you help me please, oh now oh now
He turned me down
And then I asked my little mother, oh my oh
I said mother, I said mother
I'm down on my knees
It's been time that I go
Lord it's too late
Very long, oh now oh
Somehow I thought I was still able
To try to carry on
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know
That changes gonna come
Oh yes it is
Huh, just like I said
I went to my little baby brother, oh my, my little brother
I asked my brother, brother help me please, oh now
He turned me down
And then I go to my little mother, my dear mother, oh now, huh
I said mother, I said mother I'm down on my knees
But there was a time that I go
Lord it's too late
So very long, oh my oh
Somehow I thought I was still able
To try to carry on
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come, oh
It's been so long, It's been so long
A little too long
But changes gotta come
So tired, so tired of suffering
Standing by myself
Has given up a home
But changes gotta come
You know, you know that I know
And I know that you know
Honey, That a change is gonna come, oh now, oh my
I gotta...
- Otis Redding
I was born by a river, oh my
In this little old town
Just like this river
I've been running ever since
It's been a long
Lord, I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come, now
Oh yes it is, my oh my oh my oh my
It's been too hard livin', oh my
And I'm afraid to die
I don't know what's up there
Beyond the clouds
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come
Oh yes it is, my oh my oh my
There's a time
I will go to my brother, oh my
I would ask my brother
Will you help me please, oh now oh now
He turned me down
And then I asked my little mother, oh my oh
I said mother, I said mother
I'm down on my knees
It's been time that I go
Lord it's too late
Very long, oh now oh
Somehow I thought I was still able
To try to carry on
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know
That changes gonna come
Oh yes it is
Huh, just like I said
I went to my little baby brother, oh my, my little brother
I asked my brother, brother help me please, oh now
He turned me down
And then I go to my little mother, my dear mother, oh now, huh
I said mother, I said mother I'm down on my knees
But there was a time that I go
Lord it's too late
So very long, oh my oh
Somehow I thought I was still able
To try to carry on
It's been a long
Lord I'm coming but I know, but I know
That changes gotta come, oh
It's been so long, It's been so long
A little too long
But changes gotta come
So tired, so tired of suffering
Standing by myself
Has given up a home
But changes gotta come
You know, you know that I know
And I know that you know
Honey, That a change is gonna come, oh now, oh my
I gotta...
- Otis Redding
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Hanging out with me, myself and I
I know this is quite the departure from all my posts so long ago, but lately I can't help but think about things. Good, bad whatever ... maybe it's just a phase, who knows, but sometimes it definitely produces some rather interesting thoughts. This weekend has been a particularly good one for just that. Don't worry no over analyzing. These are strictly observations ...
Just sitting here and thinking about all the things that goes on in life ... it's pretty amazing. All the things you go through, all the people you meet, conversations you have, notes you exchange, things you see, things you hear, things you taste, things you feel, people you affect ... I wonder if anyone could ever truly catalog everything that someone could experience throughout the course of their life?
There is so much that you or I as an individual can go through ... and then when you start to consider how many people are out running around in this world, and all the things they are experiencing, doing, living through ... it's mind blowing.
For example at any given moment, someone is crying, someone is laughing, someone is eating, someone is going to bed, someone is waking up, someone is hurting, someone is thinking that this is the best day of their life ... and it just goes on and on ... it's insane.
Now think that you're just one person doing all those things, and multiply it by however many other people are living in the world right now ... it just makes you feel so insignificant. The really cool thing - and I first thought of this while tree planting - if you look up at the sky, you know there are people out there looking up at the same sky you are at the exact moment you are. By doing that, even though we're all apart, it's as though we're connected ...
That's all I wanted to say ... it's just a thought ... and somewhere out there someone else is thinking the exact same thing I am.
ok ... that was my philosophical discussion of the day ...
Just sitting here and thinking about all the things that goes on in life ... it's pretty amazing. All the things you go through, all the people you meet, conversations you have, notes you exchange, things you see, things you hear, things you taste, things you feel, people you affect ... I wonder if anyone could ever truly catalog everything that someone could experience throughout the course of their life?
There is so much that you or I as an individual can go through ... and then when you start to consider how many people are out running around in this world, and all the things they are experiencing, doing, living through ... it's mind blowing.
For example at any given moment, someone is crying, someone is laughing, someone is eating, someone is going to bed, someone is waking up, someone is hurting, someone is thinking that this is the best day of their life ... and it just goes on and on ... it's insane.
Now think that you're just one person doing all those things, and multiply it by however many other people are living in the world right now ... it just makes you feel so insignificant. The really cool thing - and I first thought of this while tree planting - if you look up at the sky, you know there are people out there looking up at the same sky you are at the exact moment you are. By doing that, even though we're all apart, it's as though we're connected ...
That's all I wanted to say ... it's just a thought ... and somewhere out there someone else is thinking the exact same thing I am.
ok ... that was my philosophical discussion of the day ...
Friday, October 27, 2006
... the calm ...
Something happened to me this week which made me realize just how out of whack my priorities have been lately. I've been rash, illogical ... basically I haven't been myself. I haven't been thinking clearly ... Then in the blink of an eye I realized that I was so far out from where I want to be, and was left asking "How did I get here?"
It was one of those things that when it happens to other people you say "That's terrible.", but until it happens to you ... I don't think the weight of it all actually hits you until it does. When it did ... all I can say is that I realized I had let my priorities slip out of order, and that a majority of the confusion ... the stress ... etc. ... it was all my fault. I had brought it upon myself without realizing it, and in all honesty I would have probably let it continue ...
I always knew what my priorities were but in "getting caught up in the moment" I let the order get blurry ... Then something happened that just made me realize that a lot of the things I thought were so important really weren't. At least they weren't in the long run ... they were more of "right now" priorities and issues that I was forcing instead of letting the flow of everything run it's natural course.
So what's the answer to "How did I get here?" I guess it comes down to a matter of control, at least for me it does. Like most people, I like to think that I'm always in control or at least have some sort of control over what happens. Like most people when that perception of control is lost, you end up doing anything you can to regain it ... but the reality is, there never was any control in the first place. Recognizing that and then adjusting accordingly brings this ... calm ... It's just a realization that not everything can be controlled. Things happen, regardless of whether or not you want them to. I know most people know that, and we all accept it as common knowledge like a bad cliche ... but we still forget. We let the moment seize us instead of the other way around ...
You know it's true ... but at the specific time, when you're in that moment, you forget and you frustrate yourself with the why's, the who's and the what's when it isn't even your responsibility. They're happening for the simple reason that most things happen ... just because. I'm not saying that a person can't influence certain situations, and that your actions don't play a part in things happening. What I'm saying is that you shouldn't forget that things WILL happen. Nothing is stagnant and everything is constantly moving. The time, the pace, the rate at which all these things occur are simply out of our control.
So instead of focusing on what you can't do, it's important to work on the things that you can. How you read situations and how you react to situations are two things that are completely up to you. I believe everyone should get what they want in life ... the only reason that people don't get it is because they won't let themselves have it ... and that is usually because they're too focused on the control aspect of things instead of working on the reading and reacting ... We get so focused on trying to get a hold on a situation instead of trying our best to read it and react to it positively, therefore that affects you negatively, by leading you to more confusion, more of this sense of loss of control, and so on ... and so on ... and so on, like a never ending spiral away from where you want to be.
Of course who am I to make that judgement ... it's just my opinion, and I guess you can say ... it's just fate ... Where does fate stop and control begin anyways?
It was one of those things that when it happens to other people you say "That's terrible.", but until it happens to you ... I don't think the weight of it all actually hits you until it does. When it did ... all I can say is that I realized I had let my priorities slip out of order, and that a majority of the confusion ... the stress ... etc. ... it was all my fault. I had brought it upon myself without realizing it, and in all honesty I would have probably let it continue ...
I always knew what my priorities were but in "getting caught up in the moment" I let the order get blurry ... Then something happened that just made me realize that a lot of the things I thought were so important really weren't. At least they weren't in the long run ... they were more of "right now" priorities and issues that I was forcing instead of letting the flow of everything run it's natural course.
So what's the answer to "How did I get here?" I guess it comes down to a matter of control, at least for me it does. Like most people, I like to think that I'm always in control or at least have some sort of control over what happens. Like most people when that perception of control is lost, you end up doing anything you can to regain it ... but the reality is, there never was any control in the first place. Recognizing that and then adjusting accordingly brings this ... calm ... It's just a realization that not everything can be controlled. Things happen, regardless of whether or not you want them to. I know most people know that, and we all accept it as common knowledge like a bad cliche ... but we still forget. We let the moment seize us instead of the other way around ...
You know it's true ... but at the specific time, when you're in that moment, you forget and you frustrate yourself with the why's, the who's and the what's when it isn't even your responsibility. They're happening for the simple reason that most things happen ... just because. I'm not saying that a person can't influence certain situations, and that your actions don't play a part in things happening. What I'm saying is that you shouldn't forget that things WILL happen. Nothing is stagnant and everything is constantly moving. The time, the pace, the rate at which all these things occur are simply out of our control.
So instead of focusing on what you can't do, it's important to work on the things that you can. How you read situations and how you react to situations are two things that are completely up to you. I believe everyone should get what they want in life ... the only reason that people don't get it is because they won't let themselves have it ... and that is usually because they're too focused on the control aspect of things instead of working on the reading and reacting ... We get so focused on trying to get a hold on a situation instead of trying our best to read it and react to it positively, therefore that affects you negatively, by leading you to more confusion, more of this sense of loss of control, and so on ... and so on ... and so on, like a never ending spiral away from where you want to be.
Of course who am I to make that judgement ... it's just my opinion, and I guess you can say ... it's just fate ... Where does fate stop and control begin anyways?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mind Bending Minutiae
That's where I'm at bending the wrinkles out of shite ... usually when life gives me potatoes, I make vodka .. but right about now, there's nothing to fix this crap ... especially not vodka.
At least that's what it feels like. I mean none of this would be so bad if there just didn't seem to be so much. It's almost like every other day it's something new ... just God's or the Fates' little way of saying "Hey there sunshine, let me shove this up your a$$."
All in all ... I guess I really shouldn't complain. There are people out there that have it far worse. It's just that right now ... especially right now, Murphy's Law seems to be humming along at 250 MPH ... Whatever can go wrong, will. Pick anything, ANYTHING, and I can tell you what's going wrong ...
I thought I would say more, but I'm just too damn tired of thinking about all this crap ... hence the title of this post ... MIND BENDING MINUTIAE. I guess that's just life ... What did I say before? Life handing out a lot of strikes but it's how you deal with it that defines who you are ... DAMN IT I hate it when I'm right. I don't want to be a hypocrite either, so I guess I have no choice BUT to deal ... hmmm, I think that's pretty much it.
I guess I just needed to vent. Venting into cyberspace. So that someone in New Dehli can read what some lunatic Canadian is writing about. Dude will probably call me up to see if I need some customer support.
For more on Murphy's Law click here.
At least that's what it feels like. I mean none of this would be so bad if there just didn't seem to be so much. It's almost like every other day it's something new ... just God's or the Fates' little way of saying "Hey there sunshine, let me shove this up your a$$."
All in all ... I guess I really shouldn't complain. There are people out there that have it far worse. It's just that right now ... especially right now, Murphy's Law seems to be humming along at 250 MPH ... Whatever can go wrong, will. Pick anything, ANYTHING, and I can tell you what's going wrong ...
I thought I would say more, but I'm just too damn tired of thinking about all this crap ... hence the title of this post ... MIND BENDING MINUTIAE. I guess that's just life ... What did I say before? Life handing out a lot of strikes but it's how you deal with it that defines who you are ... DAMN IT I hate it when I'm right. I don't want to be a hypocrite either, so I guess I have no choice BUT to deal ... hmmm, I think that's pretty much it.
I guess I just needed to vent. Venting into cyberspace. So that someone in New Dehli can read what some lunatic Canadian is writing about. Dude will probably call me up to see if I need some customer support.
For more on Murphy's Law click here.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
something to think about ...
Sorry for getting all political, I just thought it was an interesting letter written by someone who was there ... This was originally posted here
The people of America have been done a great disservice under their current administration. At least they still have a couple of things left - a voice and a vote. This report from a US soldier says it all.
"After Pat’s Birthday"
Posted on Oct 19, 2006
By Kevin Tillman
Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.
It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.
Much has happened since we handed over our voice:
Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.
Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.
Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.
Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.
Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.
Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.
Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.
Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.
Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.
Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.
Somehow torture is tolerated.
Somehow lying is tolerated.
Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.
Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.
Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.
Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.
Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.
Somehow this is tolerated.
Somehow nobody is accountable for this.
In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.
Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.
Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,
Kevin Tillman
The people of America have been done a great disservice under their current administration. At least they still have a couple of things left - a voice and a vote. This report from a US soldier says it all.
"After Pat’s Birthday"
Posted on Oct 19, 2006
By Kevin Tillman
Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.
It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.
Much has happened since we handed over our voice:
Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.
Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.
Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.
Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.
Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.
Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.
Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.
Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.
Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.
Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.
Somehow torture is tolerated.
Somehow lying is tolerated.
Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.
Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.
Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.
Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.
Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.
Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.
Somehow this is tolerated.
Somehow nobody is accountable for this.
In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.
Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.
Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,
Kevin Tillman
Monday, October 23, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Being ME
For better or for worse, I am who I am. I think what I think, I do what I do, and I say what I say ...
Sometimes people like to think that you should change accordingly as each new situation arises ... but that's not true. You ADAPT, but you should not CHANGE. You do that, and you're not true to yourself ... you're not true to who you are, and the only person you hurt is yourself. You learn from your mistakes, you learn from your experiences, you learn from the past ... so why throw all of that out the window? ... Doesn't make sense.
Takes a while to figure that out, but when you actually figure it out ... why should you ignore it? Why should you disreagrd what took you all that time to learn ... for ... for what? For nothing ... screw that ...
I believe if you stay true to who you are ... things work out the way they should. Maybe it doesn't always work out the way you want it to ... but in the end, once all the dust settles, it works out the way it SHOULD HAVE. Tough to realize, but ... it's the way things work, and it lets you live with no regrets ...
Never ever regret anything in life ... if you regret something ... it's only because you didn't do what you should have done ...
A life without regrets is one worth living ... not hard to remember, but hard to live by.
Sometimes people like to think that you should change accordingly as each new situation arises ... but that's not true. You ADAPT, but you should not CHANGE. You do that, and you're not true to yourself ... you're not true to who you are, and the only person you hurt is yourself. You learn from your mistakes, you learn from your experiences, you learn from the past ... so why throw all of that out the window? ... Doesn't make sense.
Takes a while to figure that out, but when you actually figure it out ... why should you ignore it? Why should you disreagrd what took you all that time to learn ... for ... for what? For nothing ... screw that ...
I believe if you stay true to who you are ... things work out the way they should. Maybe it doesn't always work out the way you want it to ... but in the end, once all the dust settles, it works out the way it SHOULD HAVE. Tough to realize, but ... it's the way things work, and it lets you live with no regrets ...
Never ever regret anything in life ... if you regret something ... it's only because you didn't do what you should have done ...
A life without regrets is one worth living ... not hard to remember, but hard to live by.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Over-Analyze
an..a..lyze.. [an-l-ahyz] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
..verb (used with object), -lyzed, -lyz..ing.
1. to separate (a material or abstract entity) into constituent parts or elements; determine the elements or essential features of (opposed to synthesize): to analyze an argument.
2. to examine critically, so as to bring out the essential elements or give the essence of: to analyze a poem.
3. to examine carefully and in detail so as to identify causes, key factors, possible results, etc.
4. to subject to mathematical, chemical, grammatical, etc., analysis.
That's the definition of analyze .. so I'm assuming its safe to conclude that over-analyzing would be overdoing whatever all that is ..
The reason I bring it up is because "analyzing" seems to be one of the things I'm really good at. Unfortunately .. "over-analyzing" is the trap that I constantly lead myself into.
Need to stop thinking so damn much .. that's all. Just wanted to blurt that out .. makes me feel like the first four letters of that word ...
..verb (used with object), -lyzed, -lyz..ing.
1. to separate (a material or abstract entity) into constituent parts or elements; determine the elements or essential features of (opposed to synthesize): to analyze an argument.
2. to examine critically, so as to bring out the essential elements or give the essence of: to analyze a poem.
3. to examine carefully and in detail so as to identify causes, key factors, possible results, etc.
4. to subject to mathematical, chemical, grammatical, etc., analysis.
That's the definition of analyze .. so I'm assuming its safe to conclude that over-analyzing would be overdoing whatever all that is ..
The reason I bring it up is because "analyzing" seems to be one of the things I'm really good at. Unfortunately .. "over-analyzing" is the trap that I constantly lead myself into.
Need to stop thinking so damn much .. that's all. Just wanted to blurt that out .. makes me feel like the first four letters of that word ...
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
It's hard to be patient ...
Kind of funny that patience would be my next entry ... I mean especially after understanding.
Well patience seems to be something I'm short on at the moment. Maybe it has something to do with being drunk RIGHT NOW ... but I like to think alcohol is more or less a "truth serum". I find most people say the things that are weighing heaviest on their minds when they are drunk ... so that's what I'm doing.
Patience ... everyone seems to believe that I should have that ... like I actually have loads of it. Truth is I don't, or at least it feels as though I've used up all of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so damn confused, but it doesn't look like the gods have that in the cards for me. Oh well what can you do?
So patience ... what does it really mean, and how does one act when they are patient? Really? Seriously? Everyone has their own definitions of the word, but no one seems to be able to give me a clear and definite definition of the word ... what does that tell you?
Be patient until then ...
Doesn't that drive you crazy?
Well patience seems to be something I'm short on at the moment. Maybe it has something to do with being drunk RIGHT NOW ... but I like to think alcohol is more or less a "truth serum". I find most people say the things that are weighing heaviest on their minds when they are drunk ... so that's what I'm doing.
Patience ... everyone seems to believe that I should have that ... like I actually have loads of it. Truth is I don't, or at least it feels as though I've used up all of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so damn confused, but it doesn't look like the gods have that in the cards for me. Oh well what can you do?
So patience ... what does it really mean, and how does one act when they are patient? Really? Seriously? Everyone has their own definitions of the word, but no one seems to be able to give me a clear and definite definition of the word ... what does that tell you?
Be patient until then ...
Doesn't that drive you crazy?
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Understanding
Just a random thought ... but it was something that came to me in my horoscope of all places ... yeah I know "Since when has a horoscope been right?", but still ... what it said held a lot of truth.
It said "Understand your past to fully live in the present." Now I don't know about you, but that seems to have a lot of truth to it.
You learn so much from your past, and I definitely would not be here if it wasn't for it ... I've learnt a lot ... and however painful some of it may have been, I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.
With all the good times, there definitely comes some bad, and if you aren't willing to deal with that, then you're lost from the beginning. I realize I am ready for that ...and that's what makes me stronger. Just knowing that, accepting it, and being able to handle ... it ... makes me a better person.
That's why I'm glad for good friends, great conversations, and even better times. It all comes down to a matter of understanding that life dishes out a lot of strikes ... but it's how you deal with it that defines who you are ...
It said "Understand your past to fully live in the present." Now I don't know about you, but that seems to have a lot of truth to it.
You learn so much from your past, and I definitely would not be here if it wasn't for it ... I've learnt a lot ... and however painful some of it may have been, I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.
With all the good times, there definitely comes some bad, and if you aren't willing to deal with that, then you're lost from the beginning. I realize I am ready for that ...and that's what makes me stronger. Just knowing that, accepting it, and being able to handle ... it ... makes me a better person.
That's why I'm glad for good friends, great conversations, and even better times. It all comes down to a matter of understanding that life dishes out a lot of strikes ... but it's how you deal with it that defines who you are ...
Saturday, October 14, 2006
with my own two hands ...
These are the lyrics to "With My Own Two Hands" originally by Ben Harper, but I like the version by Jack Johnson and Ben Harper together.
I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can hold you
In my own two hands
And I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you've got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
With our own
Our own two hands
With our own
Our own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can hold you
In my own two hands
And I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you've got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
With our own
Our own two hands
With our own
Our own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
Lacking Creativity
It's been awhile since I've taken the time to do anything creative ... not very healthy. I think it's good to sometimes put down everything else and just do some thing for yourself ... something interesting, something that uses your mind, exerts energy - physically or mentally. Kind of like an enema for your soul.
Anyways ... where was I? Oh yeah enemas ... no that's not it. Soul cleansing. Things that I've found to work for that are running, walking, being alone with a good book, great music, drawing, writing ... just using my mind more than anything else. I'm glad that as time passes you learn to solve your problems faster before they drown you. Or at least you can be more realistic about things and understand them without needing to always have the solution.
livin' life without certainty isn't always bad, and it definitely keeps you from getting bored, although having a few truths always helps. That's where I'm at ... a few truths, a few maybes, and some uncertainty ... It's that "not knowing" that will usually break you ... which is why I've just had to accept that you control the things that you can, and trust that everything else will reveal itself eventually.
Spoken like someone without any worries? You don't even know ...
Anyways ... where was I? Oh yeah enemas ... no that's not it. Soul cleansing. Things that I've found to work for that are running, walking, being alone with a good book, great music, drawing, writing ... just using my mind more than anything else. I'm glad that as time passes you learn to solve your problems faster before they drown you. Or at least you can be more realistic about things and understand them without needing to always have the solution.
livin' life without certainty isn't always bad, and it definitely keeps you from getting bored, although having a few truths always helps. That's where I'm at ... a few truths, a few maybes, and some uncertainty ... It's that "not knowing" that will usually break you ... which is why I've just had to accept that you control the things that you can, and trust that everything else will reveal itself eventually.
Spoken like someone without any worries? You don't even know ...
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