HAHA ...

Being ME

For better or for worse, I am who I am. I think what I think, I do what I do, and I say what I say ...

Sometimes people like to think that you should change accordingly as each new situation arises ... but that's not true. You ADAPT, but you should not CHANGE. You do that, and you're not true to yourself ... you're not true to who you are, and the only person you hurt is yourself. You learn from your mistakes, you learn from your experiences, you learn from the past ... so why throw all of that out the window? ... Doesn't make sense.

Takes a while to figure that out, but when you actually figure it out ... why should you ignore it? Why should you disreagrd what took you all that time to learn ... for ... for what? For nothing ... screw that ...

I believe if you stay true to who you are ... things work out the way they should. Maybe it doesn't always work out the way you want it to ... but in the end, once all the dust settles, it works out the way it SHOULD HAVE. Tough to realize, but ... it's the way things work, and it lets you live with no regrets ...

Never ever regret anything in life ... if you regret something ... it's only because you didn't do what you should have done ...

A life without regrets is one worth living ... not hard to remember, but hard to live by.

Over-Analyze

an..a..lyze.. [an-l-ahyz] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
..verb (used with object), -lyzed, -lyz..ing.
1. to separate (a material or abstract entity) into constituent parts or elements; determine the elements or essential features of (opposed to synthesize): to analyze an argument.
2. to examine critically, so as to bring out the essential elements or give the essence of: to analyze a poem.
3. to examine carefully and in detail so as to identify causes, key factors, possible results, etc.
4. to subject to mathematical, chemical, grammatical, etc., analysis.

That's the definition of analyze .. so I'm assuming its safe to conclude that over-analyzing would be overdoing whatever all that is ..

The reason I bring it up is because "analyzing" seems to be one of the things I'm really good at. Unfortunately .. "over-analyzing" is the trap that I constantly lead myself into.

Need to stop thinking so damn much .. that's all. Just wanted to blurt that out .. makes me feel like the first four letters of that word ...

It's hard to be patient ...

Kind of funny that patience would be my next entry ... I mean especially after understanding.

Well patience seems to be something I'm short on at the moment. Maybe it has something to do with being drunk RIGHT NOW ... but I like to think alcohol is more or less a "truth serum". I find most people say the things that are weighing heaviest on their minds when they are drunk ... so that's what I'm doing.

Patience ... everyone seems to believe that I should have that ... like I actually have loads of it. Truth is I don't, or at least it feels as though I've used up all of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so damn confused, but it doesn't look like the gods have that in the cards for me. Oh well what can you do?

So patience ... what does it really mean, and how does one act when they are patient? Really? Seriously? Everyone has their own definitions of the word, but no one seems to be able to give me a clear and definite definition of the word ... what does that tell you?

Be patient until then ...

Doesn't that drive you crazy?

Understanding

Just a random thought ... but it was something that came to me in my horoscope of all places ... yeah I know "Since when has a horoscope been right?", but still ... what it said held a lot of truth.

It said "Understand your past to fully live in the present." Now I don't know about you, but that seems to have a lot of truth to it.

You learn so much from your past, and I definitely would not be here if it wasn't for it ... I've learnt a lot ... and however painful some of it may have been, I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.

With all the good times, there definitely comes some bad, and if you aren't willing to deal with that, then you're lost from the beginning. I realize I am ready for that ...and that's what makes me stronger. Just knowing that, accepting it, and being able to handle ... it ... makes me a better person.

That's why I'm glad for good friends, great conversations, and even better times. It all comes down to a matter of understanding that life dishes out a lot of strikes ... but it's how you deal with it that defines who you are ...

with my own two hands ...

These are the lyrics to "With My Own Two Hands" originally by Ben Harper, but I like the version by Jack Johnson and Ben Harper together.

I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

With my own
With my own two hands

I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

With my own
With my own two hands

I can hold you
In my own two hands
And I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you've got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands

Use your own
Use your own two hands

With our own
Our own two hands

With our own
Our own two hands

With my own
With my own two hands

Lacking Creativity

It's been awhile since I've taken the time to do anything creative ... not very healthy. I think it's good to sometimes put down everything else and just do some thing for yourself ... something interesting, something that uses your mind, exerts energy - physically or mentally. Kind of like an enema for your soul.

Anyways ... where was I? Oh yeah enemas ... no that's not it. Soul cleansing. Things that I've found to work for that are running, walking, being alone with a good book, great music, drawing, writing ... just using my mind more than anything else. I'm glad that as time passes you learn to solve your problems faster before they drown you. Or at least you can be more realistic about things and understand them without needing to always have the solution.

livin' life without certainty isn't always bad, and it definitely keeps you from getting bored, although having a few truths always helps. That's where I'm at ... a few truths, a few maybes, and some uncertainty ... It's that "not knowing" that will usually break you ... which is why I've just had to accept that you control the things that you can, and trust that everything else will reveal itself eventually.

Spoken like someone without any worries? You don't even know ...

Summer Heat

Sweating ... it feels as though that has become my full time occupation. It's almost as if I and the chair my ass is planted in are becoming one. The heat is melting my skin, my clothes, and slowly fusing everything together. The only thing that is currently stopping them is the sickening layer of sweat that seems to have formed across every inch of my body.

But how can you complain? In the winter it's so cold that you feel like one small mistake and you're snapping half your ass off like an icicle ... and then in the summers it's just the opposite. Why isn't there a happy median? Or maybe we just complain to much, when what we should really be doing is enjoying the golden sun, and the warm weather. I always say ... in the winter there isn't much you can do about the cold, but in the summer at least you can swim, wear less ... or drink fruity drinks with a little umbrella in it and lots of booze.

Temple of the Dog

A dog's wet dream? A canine's pleasure toy?

Dogs from all around the world will stare at this photo and drool, in the same way that young prepubescent teen age boys stare at the lingerie section of the Sear's catalog and drool ...

It's been awhile ...

A lot of time has passed since the last post, so I thought I would share a pretty picture or two ... Got it off of this site for those who are interested.