... the calm ...

Something happened to me this week which made me realize just how out of whack my priorities have been lately. I've been rash, illogical ... basically I haven't been myself. I haven't been thinking clearly ... Then in the blink of an eye I realized that I was so far out from where I want to be, and was left asking "How did I get here?"

It was one of those things that when it happens to other people you say "That's terrible.", but until it happens to you ... I don't think the weight of it all actually hits you until it does. When it did ... all I can say is that I realized I had let my priorities slip out of order, and that a majority of the confusion ... the stress ... etc. ... it was all my fault. I had brought it upon myself without realizing it, and in all honesty I would have probably let it continue ...

I always knew what my priorities were but in "getting caught up in the moment" I let the order get blurry ... Then something happened that just made me realize that a lot of the things I thought were so important really weren't. At least they weren't in the long run ... they were more of "right now" priorities and issues that I was forcing instead of letting the flow of everything run it's natural course.

So what's the answer to "How did I get here?" I guess it comes down to a matter of control, at least for me it does. Like most people, I like to think that I'm always in control or at least have some sort of control over what happens. Like most people when that perception of control is lost, you end up doing anything you can to regain it ... but the reality is, there never was any control in the first place. Recognizing that and then adjusting accordingly brings this ... calm ... It's just a realization that not everything can be controlled. Things happen, regardless of whether or not you want them to. I know most people know that, and we all accept it as common knowledge like a bad cliche ... but we still forget. We let the moment seize us instead of the other way around ...

You know it's true ... but at the specific time, when you're in that moment, you forget and you frustrate yourself with the why's, the who's and the what's when it isn't even your responsibility. They're happening for the simple reason that most things happen ... just because. I'm not saying that a person can't influence certain situations, and that your actions don't play a part in things happening. What I'm saying is that you shouldn't forget that things WILL happen. Nothing is stagnant and everything is constantly moving. The time, the pace, the rate at which all these things occur are simply out of our control.

So instead of focusing on what you can't do, it's important to work on the things that you can. How you read situations and how you react to situations are two things that are completely up to you. I believe everyone should get what they want in life ... the only reason that people don't get it is because they won't let themselves have it ... and that is usually because they're too focused on the control aspect of things instead of working on the reading and reacting ... We get so focused on trying to get a hold on a situation instead of trying our best to read it and react to it positively, therefore that affects you negatively, by leading you to more confusion, more of this sense of loss of control, and so on ... and so on ... and so on, like a never ending spiral away from where you want to be.

Of course who am I to make that judgement ... it's just my opinion, and I guess you can say ... it's just fate ... Where does fate stop and control begin anyways?