Stopping the stt ... stt .. stuttering

So I've been thinking for what feels like forever ... I said I had lots on my mind and here is what it boils down to ... I'm an idiot.

I'm by no means perfect. I doubt anyone is, and it's those imperfections that make everyone unique. That being said I realize my two biggest faults are my tendency to dwell on the past, and my inability to sometimes see the difference between constructive thought, and over thinking. Both faults serve me well in the work environment, where experience and logic help to find better solutions to current problems. It's turning off the "work me" when it comes to dealing with my life that I have to admit is infuriating. Actually lord knows how many times people have wanted to and I've wanted to beat myself silly, and if I could I would, but I can't ... so instead I've got to just accept it, and make some changes.

The past is there to guide me. Dwelling on it, and thinking of things that could have been done, etc. is ok up to a certain extent. Knowing the limit is something that I'm working on to improve, because past a certain point I've come to realize you start letting your past dictate your future. I don't want to do that. I want to learn from my past, but then I want to move forward.

Thinking is great, and everyone should reflect on their issues ... but once again nitpicking over details, and over analyzing items until you see 50 solutions to one problem is overkill. It only leads to indecision, when sometimes maybe most of the time the right answer was right there in front of you.

I know I've said similar things in the past ... so why am I still talking about it? I think when things go bad you look for tried and true methods ... it's comfortable, you know how to go about it, you've done it before. I told myself I wouldn't but once things hit a certain point I think I just succumbed to it all ... because it was easier NOT better.

So "moving forward" and looking to tomorrow is something that I am working on. It's not an overnight process, but as long as I keep it in mind, things will improve. "Why do things happen?" is not something I'm going to concern myself with anymore. I'll accept it, learn from it, and move on ... all I can do is sit in anticipation of tomorrow.

In all honesty, I'm much happier being the person that sees the humor in life rather than the person trying to find the meaning behind it ...

I guess it's just frustrating to know all of this about me ... to know that I've known this for a while ... so why don't I listen?

I frustrate myself.