It's been a long time since I wrote anything ... at least here ... I guess things have just been progressing. Everything moving along at it's own pace, some things fast and some slow.
I guess 2008 has it's own rhythm that I haven't quite figured out yet, and while that troubles some people ... for me it's a blessing as it keeps everything new and comfortable all at once. There is still so much left to do this year, and it feels as though there just might be enough time to do it ... for once I don't feel rushed or stalled. Everything can be dealt with in it's own time, and the pressure to be ... something or somewhere ... melts into the corner where no one cares.
Nobody 'cept You
There's nothing 'round here I believe in
'Cept you, yeah you
And there's nothing to me that's sacred
'Cept you, yeah you
You're the one that reaches me
You're the one that I admire
Every time we meet together
My soul feels like it's on fire
Nothing matters to me
And there's nothing I desire
'Cept you, yeah you
Nothing 'round here I care to try for
'Cept you, yeah you
Got nothing left to live or die for
'Cept you, yeah you
There's a hymn I used to hear
In the churches all the time
Make me feel so good inside
So peaceful, so sublime
And there's nothing to remind me of that
Old familiar chime
'Cept you, uh huh you
Used to play in the cemetery
Dance and sing and run when I was a child
Never seemed strange
But now I just pass mournfully by
That place where the bones of life are piled
I know somethin' has changed
I'm a stranger here and no one sees me
'Cept you, yeah you
Nothing much matters or seems to please me
'Cept you, yeah you
Nothing hypnotizes me
Or holds me in a spell
Everything runs by me
Just like water from a well
Everybody wants my attention
Ev'rybody's got something to sell
'Cept you, yeah you
- Bob Dylan
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
I sent my ...
I sent my soul into the invisible,
Some letter of that after life to spell.
And by and by my soul returned to me
And answered, I myself am heaven and hell.
- Omar Khayyam (Rubaiyat)
Some letter of that after life to spell.
And by and by my soul returned to me
And answered, I myself am heaven and hell.
- Omar Khayyam (Rubaiyat)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Contrasts of ...
I just came back from a long hard talk with a friend who is in a tough spot at the moment. It was one of those conversations that you just need from time to time ... especially at this time. It centered on the hardships of life, but more importantly it was about love ... love lost ... love found, and the dynamics of it as it passes through relationships.
Those euphoric feelings of bliss contrasted against the painful daggers of hurt and despair. How one should be lucky about finding something so true, and for however long or brief it may be ... at least you've found it. Then ... the torment that accompanies the end of it all ... how it tears at you, and leaves you wondering whether or not it was worth the pain.
In the end ... things unfold as they should, which is something I truly believe. All things good and bad come into and out of your life as they should, and at the exact moment that they should. Things happen for reasons ... people who you never expect to see again magically reappear and people you thought would never leave vanish ...
The point of all this ... is that after experiencing something so great ... the only reason you wouldn't want that again is fear ... fear of losing it, and being lost all over again ...
Tell Me
Tell me, I've got to know.
Tell me, tell me before I go.
Does that flame still burn? Does that fire still glow?
Or has it died out and melted like the snow.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, what are you focused upon?
Tell me willit come to me after you're gone.
Tell me now with a glance or a sigh
Shall I hold you close?
Or Shall I let you go by?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is that the heat and the beat of your pulse that I feel?
If it's not that, what is it your're trying to conceal?
Do you have any secrets,? they will only come out in time.
Do you lie in your bed and stare at the stars?
Is your main friend an old acquaintance of ours?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, Are those rock and roll dreams in your eyes?
Tell me, behind what door your treasure lies.
Ever gone broke in a big way?
Ever done the opposite of what the experts say?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is this some kind of game that you're playin' with my heart?
How deep must I go, Where do I start?
Do you have any morals?
Do you have any point of view?
Is that a smile I see on your face?
Will it lead me to glory or lead me to disgrace?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, is that my name in your book?
Tell me, should I come back and take another look?
Tell me the truth, don't you tell me no lies.
Are you anyone some one prays for or cries?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, I've got to know.
Tell me, tell me before I go.
Does that flame still burn? Does that fire still glow?
Or has it died out and melted like the snow.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, what are you focused upon?
Tell me willit come to me after you're gone.
Tell me now with a glance or a sigh
Shall I hold you close?
Or Shall I let you go by?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is that the heat and the beat of your pulse that I feel?
If it's not that, what is it your're trying to conceal?
Do you have any secrets,? they will only come out in time.
Do you lie in your bed and stare at the stars?
Is your main friend an old acquaintance of ours?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, Are those rock and roll dreams in your eyes?
Tell me, behind what door your treasure lies.
Ever gone broke in a big way?
Ever done the opposite of what the experts say?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is this some kind of game that you're playin' with my heart?
How deep must I go, Where do I start?
Do you have any morals?
Do you have any point of view?
Is that a smile I see on your face?
Will it lead me to glory or lead me to disgrace?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, is that my name in your book?
Tell me, should I come back and take another look?
Tell me the truth, don't you tell me no lies.
Are you anyone some one prays for or cries?
Tell me.
Tell me.
-Bob Dylan
vs.
Nothing Even Matters
Now the skies could fall
Not even if my boss should call
The world it seems so very small
'Cause nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
See I don't need no alcohol
Your love makes me feel ten feet tall
Without it I'd go through withdrawal
'Cause nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
These buildings could drift out to sea
Some natural catastrophe
Still there's no place I'd rather be
'Cause nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
You're part of my identity
I sometimes have the tendency
To look at you religiously
'Cause nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Now you won't find me at no store
I have no time for manicures
With you it's never either or
'Cause nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing it don't matter
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
Now my team could score
And make it to the Final Four
Just repossess my 4x4
'Cause nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
To me( till fade out)
-Lauryn Hill
As a side note ... these two songs came on in succession as I was thinking about all of ... this .......
Those euphoric feelings of bliss contrasted against the painful daggers of hurt and despair. How one should be lucky about finding something so true, and for however long or brief it may be ... at least you've found it. Then ... the torment that accompanies the end of it all ... how it tears at you, and leaves you wondering whether or not it was worth the pain.
In the end ... things unfold as they should, which is something I truly believe. All things good and bad come into and out of your life as they should, and at the exact moment that they should. Things happen for reasons ... people who you never expect to see again magically reappear and people you thought would never leave vanish ...
The point of all this ... is that after experiencing something so great ... the only reason you wouldn't want that again is fear ... fear of losing it, and being lost all over again ...
Tell Me
Tell me, I've got to know.
Tell me, tell me before I go.
Does that flame still burn? Does that fire still glow?
Or has it died out and melted like the snow.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, what are you focused upon?
Tell me willit come to me after you're gone.
Tell me now with a glance or a sigh
Shall I hold you close?
Or Shall I let you go by?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is that the heat and the beat of your pulse that I feel?
If it's not that, what is it your're trying to conceal?
Do you have any secrets,? they will only come out in time.
Do you lie in your bed and stare at the stars?
Is your main friend an old acquaintance of ours?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, Are those rock and roll dreams in your eyes?
Tell me, behind what door your treasure lies.
Ever gone broke in a big way?
Ever done the opposite of what the experts say?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is this some kind of game that you're playin' with my heart?
How deep must I go, Where do I start?
Do you have any morals?
Do you have any point of view?
Is that a smile I see on your face?
Will it lead me to glory or lead me to disgrace?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, is that my name in your book?
Tell me, should I come back and take another look?
Tell me the truth, don't you tell me no lies.
Are you anyone some one prays for or cries?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, I've got to know.
Tell me, tell me before I go.
Does that flame still burn? Does that fire still glow?
Or has it died out and melted like the snow.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, what are you focused upon?
Tell me willit come to me after you're gone.
Tell me now with a glance or a sigh
Shall I hold you close?
Or Shall I let you go by?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is that the heat and the beat of your pulse that I feel?
If it's not that, what is it your're trying to conceal?
Do you have any secrets,? they will only come out in time.
Do you lie in your bed and stare at the stars?
Is your main friend an old acquaintance of ours?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, Are those rock and roll dreams in your eyes?
Tell me, behind what door your treasure lies.
Ever gone broke in a big way?
Ever done the opposite of what the experts say?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Is this some kind of game that you're playin' with my heart?
How deep must I go, Where do I start?
Do you have any morals?
Do you have any point of view?
Is that a smile I see on your face?
Will it lead me to glory or lead me to disgrace?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me, is that my name in your book?
Tell me, should I come back and take another look?
Tell me the truth, don't you tell me no lies.
Are you anyone some one prays for or cries?
Tell me.
Tell me.
-Bob Dylan
vs.
Nothing Even Matters
Now the skies could fall
Not even if my boss should call
The world it seems so very small
'Cause nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
See I don't need no alcohol
Your love makes me feel ten feet tall
Without it I'd go through withdrawal
'Cause nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters at all
These buildings could drift out to sea
Some natural catastrophe
Still there's no place I'd rather be
'Cause nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
You're part of my identity
I sometimes have the tendency
To look at you religiously
'Cause nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters to me
Now you won't find me at no store
I have no time for manicures
With you it's never either or
'Cause nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing it don't matter
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
Now my team could score
And make it to the Final Four
Just repossess my 4x4
'Cause nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
Nothing even matters
Nothing even matters no more
To me( till fade out)
-Lauryn Hill
As a side note ... these two songs came on in succession as I was thinking about all of ... this .......
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Whole Wide World
Another song ... another favorite, mainly because it's so ... happy.
Originally written by the Monkees and covered countless times, but the version I prefer is by Wreckless Eric, and was used in Stranger Than Fiction - one of my favorite movies of all time.
Whole Wide World
When I was a young boy
My mama said to me
There's only one girl in the world for you
And she probably lives in Tahiti
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
Or maybe she's in the Bahamas
Where the Carribean sea is blue
Weeping in a tropical moonlit night
Because nobody's told her 'bout you
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her
Why am I hanging around in the rain out here
Trying to pick up a girl
Why are my eyes filling up with these lonely tears
When there're girls all over the world
Is she lying on a tropical beach somewhere
Underneath the tropical sun
Pining away in a heatwave there
Hoping that I won't be long
I should be lying on that sun-soaked beach with her
Caressing her warm brown skin
And then in a year or maybe not quite
We'll be sharing the same next of kin
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her
Originally written by the Monkees and covered countless times, but the version I prefer is by Wreckless Eric, and was used in Stranger Than Fiction - one of my favorite movies of all time.
Whole Wide World
When I was a young boy
My mama said to me
There's only one girl in the world for you
And she probably lives in Tahiti
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
Or maybe she's in the Bahamas
Where the Carribean sea is blue
Weeping in a tropical moonlit night
Because nobody's told her 'bout you
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her
Why am I hanging around in the rain out here
Trying to pick up a girl
Why are my eyes filling up with these lonely tears
When there're girls all over the world
Is she lying on a tropical beach somewhere
Underneath the tropical sun
Pining away in a heatwave there
Hoping that I won't be long
I should be lying on that sun-soaked beach with her
Caressing her warm brown skin
And then in a year or maybe not quite
We'll be sharing the same next of kin
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her
Thursday, January 03, 2008
It's 2008 ... bring on the pink elephants and dancing pigs!!!
A year older a year wiser ....
It's such a cliche, but in many aspects I can see where it comes from.
As I sit here thinking over the past few weeks I come to a strange but comforting appreciation of where I am, where I've been and what I've come to. Time spent with friends and family especially during times when it's so important to do so, makes you really realize what you have ... or in my case how MUCH I actually have. You forget about the someone you don't have, the things you want, and the places you haven't been ... and you appreciate everything that you do ... for better and worse, you appreciate where you have come to physically, mentally and emotionally.
Maybe it's the dawning of the new year ... maybe it's much needed time away ... or maybe it's just growing up in more than a physical sense ... either way it's 2008 and the word "possibility" makes me happy.
It's such a cliche, but in many aspects I can see where it comes from.
As I sit here thinking over the past few weeks I come to a strange but comforting appreciation of where I am, where I've been and what I've come to. Time spent with friends and family especially during times when it's so important to do so, makes you really realize what you have ... or in my case how MUCH I actually have. You forget about the someone you don't have, the things you want, and the places you haven't been ... and you appreciate everything that you do ... for better and worse, you appreciate where you have come to physically, mentally and emotionally.
Maybe it's the dawning of the new year ... maybe it's much needed time away ... or maybe it's just growing up in more than a physical sense ... either way it's 2008 and the word "possibility" makes me happy.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Wonder
I wonder ... I'm wondering ...
It's all just thoughts, with no real singular idea(s)/direction ... Nothing clear or concise ...
... it's all just wonders.
In the meantime here's another song ...
Society
It's a mystery to me
we have a greed
with which we have agreed
You think you have to want
more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
When you want more than you have
you think you need
and when you think more than you want
your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'cos when you have more than you think
you need more space
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
there's those thinking more or less less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make
your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that...
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
-Eddie Vedder
It's all just thoughts, with no real singular idea(s)/direction ... Nothing clear or concise ...
... it's all just wonders.
In the meantime here's another song ...
Society
It's a mystery to me
we have a greed
with which we have agreed
You think you have to want
more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
When you want more than you have
you think you need
and when you think more than you want
your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'cos when you have more than you think
you need more space
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
there's those thinking more or less less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make
your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that...
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
-Eddie Vedder
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Road to Peace
This is a really great song by Tom Waits ... kind of a bluesy, folksy song but really good, and what makes it great are the lyrics.
Sorry for getting all serious and political ... but it tells a simple story of Israel vs. Palestine ...
"Road to Peace"
Young Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay) was only 18 years old,
He was the youngest of nine children, never spent a night away from home.
And his mother held his photograph, opening the New York Times
To see the killing has intensified along the road to peace
There was a tall, thin boy with a whispy moustache disguised as an orthodox Jew
On a crowded bus in Jerusalem, some had survived World War Two
And the thunderous explosion blew out windows 200 yards away
With more retribution and seventeen dead along the road to peace
Now at King George Ave and Jaffa Road passengers boarded bus 14a
In the aisle next to the driver Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
And the last thing that he said on earth is "God is great and God is good"
And he blew them all to kingdom come upon the road to peace
Now in response to this another kiss of death was visited upon
Yasser Taha, Israel says is an Hamas senior militant
And Israel sent four choppers in, flames engulfed, tears wide open
And it killed his wife and his three year old child leaving only blackened skeletons
It's found his toddlers bottle and a pair of small shoes and they waved them in front of the cameras
But Israel says they did not know that his wife and child were in the car
There are roadblocks everywhere and only suffering on TV
Neither side will ever give up their smallest right along the road to peace
Israel launched it's latest campaign against Hamas on Tuesday
Two days later Hamas shot back and killed five Israeli soldiers
So thousands dead and wounded on both sides most of them middle eastern civilians
They fill the children full of hate to fight an old man's war and die upon the road to peace
"And this is our land we will fight with all our force" say the Palastinians and the Jews
Each side will cut off the hand of anyone who tries to stop the resistance
If the right eye offends thee then you must pluck it out
And Mahmoud Abbas said Sharon had been lost out along the road to peace
Once Kissinger said "we have no friends, America only has interests"
Now our president wants to be seen as a hero and he's hungry for re-election
But Bush is reluctant to risk his future in the fear of his political failures
So he plays chess at his desk and poses for the press 10,000 miles from the road to peace
In the video that they found at the home of Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
He held a Kalashnikov rifle and he spoke with a voice like a boy
He was an excellent student, he studied so hard, it was as if he had a future
He told his mother that he had a test that day out along the road to peace
The fundamentalist killing on both sides is standing in the path of peace
But tell me why are we arming the Israeli army with guns and tanks and bullets?
And if God is great and God is good why can't he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He's out upon the road to peace
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
And he's lost upon the road to peace
And he's lost upon the road to peace
Out upon the road to peace.
- Tom Waits
Sorry for getting all serious and political ... but it tells a simple story of Israel vs. Palestine ...
"Road to Peace"
Young Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay) was only 18 years old,
He was the youngest of nine children, never spent a night away from home.
And his mother held his photograph, opening the New York Times
To see the killing has intensified along the road to peace
There was a tall, thin boy with a whispy moustache disguised as an orthodox Jew
On a crowded bus in Jerusalem, some had survived World War Two
And the thunderous explosion blew out windows 200 yards away
With more retribution and seventeen dead along the road to peace
Now at King George Ave and Jaffa Road passengers boarded bus 14a
In the aisle next to the driver Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
And the last thing that he said on earth is "God is great and God is good"
And he blew them all to kingdom come upon the road to peace
Now in response to this another kiss of death was visited upon
Yasser Taha, Israel says is an Hamas senior militant
And Israel sent four choppers in, flames engulfed, tears wide open
And it killed his wife and his three year old child leaving only blackened skeletons
It's found his toddlers bottle and a pair of small shoes and they waved them in front of the cameras
But Israel says they did not know that his wife and child were in the car
There are roadblocks everywhere and only suffering on TV
Neither side will ever give up their smallest right along the road to peace
Israel launched it's latest campaign against Hamas on Tuesday
Two days later Hamas shot back and killed five Israeli soldiers
So thousands dead and wounded on both sides most of them middle eastern civilians
They fill the children full of hate to fight an old man's war and die upon the road to peace
"And this is our land we will fight with all our force" say the Palastinians and the Jews
Each side will cut off the hand of anyone who tries to stop the resistance
If the right eye offends thee then you must pluck it out
And Mahmoud Abbas said Sharon had been lost out along the road to peace
Once Kissinger said "we have no friends, America only has interests"
Now our president wants to be seen as a hero and he's hungry for re-election
But Bush is reluctant to risk his future in the fear of his political failures
So he plays chess at his desk and poses for the press 10,000 miles from the road to peace
In the video that they found at the home of Abdel Mahdi (Shahmay)
He held a Kalashnikov rifle and he spoke with a voice like a boy
He was an excellent student, he studied so hard, it was as if he had a future
He told his mother that he had a test that day out along the road to peace
The fundamentalist killing on both sides is standing in the path of peace
But tell me why are we arming the Israeli army with guns and tanks and bullets?
And if God is great and God is good why can't he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He's out upon the road to peace
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
And he's lost upon the road to peace
And he's lost upon the road to peace
Out upon the road to peace.
- Tom Waits
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Something Reminded Me
Over the past few months things have happened that just made me think about ... everything.
I've watched family and friends ... join their lives forever ... meet ... greet ... stop ... hurt ... back and forth.
Everywhere people were entering or exiting ... some of it happy and some of it hard.
So what's the point? I don't know somewhere along the way I was reminded of something someone once read to me, and for the longest time I couldn't remember.
Then suddenly for whatever reason (although I don't believe in chance) ... I just remembered ... all of it ... It's a poem by Leonard Cohen and it reminds me of something from long ago that still makes me smile ... life is funny ...
As the mist leaves no scar
On the dark green hill
So my body leaves no scar
On you and never will
Through windows in the dark
The children come, the children go
Like arrows with no targets
Like shackles made of snow
True love leaves no traces
If you and I are one
It's lost in our embraces
Like stars against the sun
As a falling leaf may rest
A moment on the air
So your head upon my breast
So my hand upon your hair
And many nights endure
Without a moon or star
So we will endure
When one is gone and far
True love leaves no traces
If you and I are one
It's lost in our embraces
Like stars against the sun
- Leonard Cohen
I've watched family and friends ... join their lives forever ... meet ... greet ... stop ... hurt ... back and forth.
Everywhere people were entering or exiting ... some of it happy and some of it hard.
So what's the point? I don't know somewhere along the way I was reminded of something someone once read to me, and for the longest time I couldn't remember.
Then suddenly for whatever reason (although I don't believe in chance) ... I just remembered ... all of it ... It's a poem by Leonard Cohen and it reminds me of something from long ago that still makes me smile ... life is funny ...
As the mist leaves no scar
On the dark green hill
So my body leaves no scar
On you and never will
Through windows in the dark
The children come, the children go
Like arrows with no targets
Like shackles made of snow
True love leaves no traces
If you and I are one
It's lost in our embraces
Like stars against the sun
As a falling leaf may rest
A moment on the air
So your head upon my breast
So my hand upon your hair
And many nights endure
Without a moon or star
So we will endure
When one is gone and far
True love leaves no traces
If you and I are one
It's lost in our embraces
Like stars against the sun
- Leonard Cohen
Thursday, August 16, 2007
rambling on
So ... it's been over a month since the last time I entered anything ... and in all honesty there's not much I care to write.
I guess since I have some spare time until the minutes tick by to signal the end of the day, I decided now would be a good time for adding an entry ... or entering an ad?
Much has happened in the span of a month ... do you remember when you were a little kid and a month felt like a year as you anxiously waited for something in the not so distant future ... and now that year feels like a week ... in some cases a day as everything zips by at such a hurried pace.
All at once things you look forward to come and go, and in the meantime the minutes in between become the stage for all sorts of interesting events, occassions, etc. until before you know it ... the month is over. The things that were supposed to be done are done. The events that were supposed to be happenings are now just memories ... fond ones, but memories none the less ...
As I sit here reliving the past month in my mind ... I'm already mentally calculating, examining and planning the next series of events, happenings, etc.
... and so the race comes around to the end, which is the start ... and we all just keep rambling on.
"have you ever ... have you ever ... had some ..."
I guess since I have some spare time until the minutes tick by to signal the end of the day, I decided now would be a good time for adding an entry ... or entering an ad?
Much has happened in the span of a month ... do you remember when you were a little kid and a month felt like a year as you anxiously waited for something in the not so distant future ... and now that year feels like a week ... in some cases a day as everything zips by at such a hurried pace.
All at once things you look forward to come and go, and in the meantime the minutes in between become the stage for all sorts of interesting events, occassions, etc. until before you know it ... the month is over. The things that were supposed to be done are done. The events that were supposed to be happenings are now just memories ... fond ones, but memories none the less ...
As I sit here reliving the past month in my mind ... I'm already mentally calculating, examining and planning the next series of events, happenings, etc.
... and so the race comes around to the end, which is the start ... and we all just keep rambling on.
"have you ever ... have you ever ... had some ..."
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Filling the Void
It's late, and it's been awhile ... actually it's been a long time. I guess I've just been busy running around ...
So what's the purpose of this one ... I feel as though each and every post has a purpose, and this case is no different.
I guess I'm somewhere in between decisions. So much is going on it's hard to take the time to sit and think through everything. To adjust, to calculate, and to evaluate everything that is going on. In some instances it's as though I'm simply killing time until the next great event ... in other cases it's almost as if there are too many events to keep track of. I guess you just have to take it all in at once and sort it out as it becomes clearer.
What am I talking about? Well there's too much to mention in a few simple paragraphs, but it's definitely fun, it's definitely exciting, and ... it's definitely troublesome. So why write about it? ... I think it's just so that I remeber ... a little reminder to me. Something to say "Do you remember when?"
Just killing time until the next great adventure ...
So what's the purpose of this one ... I feel as though each and every post has a purpose, and this case is no different.
I guess I'm somewhere in between decisions. So much is going on it's hard to take the time to sit and think through everything. To adjust, to calculate, and to evaluate everything that is going on. In some instances it's as though I'm simply killing time until the next great event ... in other cases it's almost as if there are too many events to keep track of. I guess you just have to take it all in at once and sort it out as it becomes clearer.
What am I talking about? Well there's too much to mention in a few simple paragraphs, but it's definitely fun, it's definitely exciting, and ... it's definitely troublesome. So why write about it? ... I think it's just so that I remeber ... a little reminder to me. Something to say "Do you remember when?"
Just killing time until the next great adventure ...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
E-Z Breezy
I waited all year for summer, and now it's here ... it's hot, it's sticky, people are sweating for no other reason than just being alive ... and it's perfect.
BBQs, places to go, people to see, and it seems as though everyone is in the mood for a party. It's as if the simple fact of "summer" being here has alleviated people of so many burdens. The stress of work ... the stresses of life, love, family ... everything. It all melts away under the punishing heat of the sun.
Unfortunately ... it's already close to the end of JUNE!! I feel as if it's been a whirlwind of activity, with scarcely any time for me to stick my head above the water to just stop ... and breath ... and enjoy the moment of being in the season. That's not to say that the activity hasn't been rewarding and pleasurable ... it is to say that now that it's here, I don't want it to zip on by only to wake up one day and realize we're in fall.
I need to go outside and breath ... even if its just for one ... moment.
BBQs, places to go, people to see, and it seems as though everyone is in the mood for a party. It's as if the simple fact of "summer" being here has alleviated people of so many burdens. The stress of work ... the stresses of life, love, family ... everything. It all melts away under the punishing heat of the sun.
Unfortunately ... it's already close to the end of JUNE!! I feel as if it's been a whirlwind of activity, with scarcely any time for me to stick my head above the water to just stop ... and breath ... and enjoy the moment of being in the season. That's not to say that the activity hasn't been rewarding and pleasurable ... it is to say that now that it's here, I don't want it to zip on by only to wake up one day and realize we're in fall.
I need to go outside and breath ... even if its just for one ... moment.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
In need ... indeed
As I sit here watching summer pass outside my window, I can't help but feel so ... BLAH ... unmotivated, distracted, antsy ...
I need some serious excitement, I need to be on the road, going somewhere - DESPERATELY! I've always told myself that I would never allow my life to feel like a routine, but unfortunately that's exactly what it feels like. I find each week blends into the next. There is no end or beginning, it's just one complete circle and I just go around and around ... and before I know it, fall will be here, leaves will be changing and I'll be scratching my head wondering where the time went.
Now as I sit here inching closer and closer to 4 years in the same city, I am slowly being reminded of how much I enjoy the challenge of starting a new life. I always wondered if I liked moving every 3 years out of necessity, or if it was the excitement and thrill of the adventure. Some people would think it's silly ... but there is something about starting over in completely new surroundings that I find so invigorating.
Maybe I just need a vacation ... no ... I KNOW I need a vacation.
I need some serious excitement, I need to be on the road, going somewhere - DESPERATELY! I've always told myself that I would never allow my life to feel like a routine, but unfortunately that's exactly what it feels like. I find each week blends into the next. There is no end or beginning, it's just one complete circle and I just go around and around ... and before I know it, fall will be here, leaves will be changing and I'll be scratching my head wondering where the time went.
Now as I sit here inching closer and closer to 4 years in the same city, I am slowly being reminded of how much I enjoy the challenge of starting a new life. I always wondered if I liked moving every 3 years out of necessity, or if it was the excitement and thrill of the adventure. Some people would think it's silly ... but there is something about starting over in completely new surroundings that I find so invigorating.
Maybe I just need a vacation ... no ... I KNOW I need a vacation.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Sleeping Lessons
I think these lyrics evoke more feeling when you can actually hear the music that accompanies it ... regardless I still find them interesting and meaningful ...
Go without,
'Til the need seeps in
You low animal,
Collect your novel petals for the stem,
And glow,
Glow,
Melt and flow,
Eviscerate your fragile frame,
And spill it out in the ragged floor,
A thousand different versions of yourself,
And if the old guard still offend,
They got nothing left on which you depend,
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood,
And off with their heads,
Jump from the book
You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise
See, those unrepenting buzzards want your life,
And they got no right--
As sure as you have eyes,
They got no right,
Just put yourself in my new shoes,
And see that I do what I do,
Because the old guard still offend,
(Their pudgy hearts and slimy hands)
They got nothing left on which we depend.
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood,
And off with their heads.
Jump from the book,
You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise
That you despise.
- The Shins
Go without,
'Til the need seeps in
You low animal,
Collect your novel petals for the stem,
And glow,
Glow,
Melt and flow,
Eviscerate your fragile frame,
And spill it out in the ragged floor,
A thousand different versions of yourself,
And if the old guard still offend,
They got nothing left on which you depend,
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood,
And off with their heads,
Jump from the book
You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise
See, those unrepenting buzzards want your life,
And they got no right--
As sure as you have eyes,
They got no right,
Just put yourself in my new shoes,
And see that I do what I do,
Because the old guard still offend,
(Their pudgy hearts and slimy hands)
They got nothing left on which we depend.
So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood,
And off with their heads.
Jump from the book,
You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise
That you despise.
- The Shins
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
On Your Porch
Every now and then I like to post lyrics to songs that I really like for whatever reason ... maybe they reflect my mood, or they say something that I find poetic, inspiring, interesting, or it reminds me of a time and place ... and sometimes it encompasses all of that.
I won't say what this one means to me, because I think you need to add your own importance to a song.
i was on your porch
the smoke sank into my skin
so i came inside to be with you
and we talked all night,
about everything we could imagine
cause come the morning i'll be gone
and as our eyes start to close,
i turn to you and i let you know,
that i love you
well my dad was sick
and my mom she cared for him
her love it nursed him back to life
and me i ran,
i couldnt even look at him,
for fear i'd have to say goodbye
and as i start to leave he grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me,
whats left to lose,
you've done enough
and if you fail well then you fail,
but not to us
cause these last three years,
i know they've been hard
but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun
even if it's alone
so now here i sit,
in a hotel off of sunset
my thoughts bounce off of sam's guitar
and thats the way it's been,
ever since we were kids but now,
now we've got something to prove
and i,
i can see their eyes
but tell me something,
can they see mine?
cause whats left to lose,
i've done enough
and if i fail, well then i fail, but i gave it a shot
and these last three years,
i know they've been hard
but now its time to get out of the desert and into the sun
even if it's alone
even if it's alone
i was on your porch last night,
the smoke it sank into my skin
- The Format
I won't say what this one means to me, because I think you need to add your own importance to a song.
i was on your porch
the smoke sank into my skin
so i came inside to be with you
and we talked all night,
about everything we could imagine
cause come the morning i'll be gone
and as our eyes start to close,
i turn to you and i let you know,
that i love you
well my dad was sick
and my mom she cared for him
her love it nursed him back to life
and me i ran,
i couldnt even look at him,
for fear i'd have to say goodbye
and as i start to leave he grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me,
whats left to lose,
you've done enough
and if you fail well then you fail,
but not to us
cause these last three years,
i know they've been hard
but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun
even if it's alone
so now here i sit,
in a hotel off of sunset
my thoughts bounce off of sam's guitar
and thats the way it's been,
ever since we were kids but now,
now we've got something to prove
and i,
i can see their eyes
but tell me something,
can they see mine?
cause whats left to lose,
i've done enough
and if i fail, well then i fail, but i gave it a shot
and these last three years,
i know they've been hard
but now its time to get out of the desert and into the sun
even if it's alone
even if it's alone
i was on your porch last night,
the smoke it sank into my skin
- The Format
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
You little POS!!!!
... and you're back ... back to ruin my week. My life ... ughhh
Well yet again it was my own stupidity ... the only thing that worries me this time is that there wasn't mass quantities of booze (don't get me wrong you probably thought I was inviting you over for a few) .. but there were a few incredibly rich dinners. Now if you're going to start making appearances over something I ate, well then we have a definite problem.
First I'm going to drown you in chicken soup and salad ... then we'll sort out this sleeping business, because unfortunately you seem to especially enjoy partying all night. Makes it incredibly tough to sleep longer than an hour and a half before I have to turn. Did I mention the chicken soup? It's going to be hot and scalding and you my friend will not enjoy it one bit.
Mainly though ... I beg that you get the f*ck out ... actually I demand that you leave!!!
All in all you're definitely not as bad as the previous times ... I just really don't enjoy you taking up residence on Pancreas Lane ... it's not you it's me ... it's us, we definitely don't have a very good relationship. So I think it would be best if you just packed up your sh*t and left.
Well yet again it was my own stupidity ... the only thing that worries me this time is that there wasn't mass quantities of booze (don't get me wrong you probably thought I was inviting you over for a few) .. but there were a few incredibly rich dinners. Now if you're going to start making appearances over something I ate, well then we have a definite problem.
First I'm going to drown you in chicken soup and salad ... then we'll sort out this sleeping business, because unfortunately you seem to especially enjoy partying all night. Makes it incredibly tough to sleep longer than an hour and a half before I have to turn. Did I mention the chicken soup? It's going to be hot and scalding and you my friend will not enjoy it one bit.
Mainly though ... I beg that you get the f*ck out ... actually I demand that you leave!!!
All in all you're definitely not as bad as the previous times ... I just really don't enjoy you taking up residence on Pancreas Lane ... it's not you it's me ... it's us, we definitely don't have a very good relationship. So I think it would be best if you just packed up your sh*t and left.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Uncontrollable
There's something I've known about myself for quite some time but only recently has it become more and more noticeable ... I like to be in control of my environment and of myself ... but for whatever reason lately I haven't been.
I don't know why but this person makes me ... uncontrollable, or at least I don't feel like I have any control, and quite honestly it scares me. I feel like I'm impulsive, or at least my normal thought processes aren't clicking. Anyone who knows me knows how long I can think about something until I've analyzed it from every which way ... but ... that's not happening. Instead I fly by the seat of my pants, doing things impulsively and only considering or thinking things through after the fact.
It's troubling ... I'm a little scared by it all ... hmmmm, maybe this would be a good time to sit and ponder ... any suggestions?
I don't know why but this person makes me ... uncontrollable, or at least I don't feel like I have any control, and quite honestly it scares me. I feel like I'm impulsive, or at least my normal thought processes aren't clicking. Anyone who knows me knows how long I can think about something until I've analyzed it from every which way ... but ... that's not happening. Instead I fly by the seat of my pants, doing things impulsively and only considering or thinking things through after the fact.
It's troubling ... I'm a little scared by it all ... hmmmm, maybe this would be a good time to sit and ponder ... any suggestions?
Friday, May 25, 2007
Finally something nice ...
With all the stories about retarded athletes acting like immature and idiotic assholes, it's nice that someone in the media finally wrote something about an athlete who is doing something worthwhile.
Click here for the story.
Click here for the story.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sitting on Top of The World
For whatever reason, I've been thinking of this song ... I don't know why ... not unhappy in any way, maybe it just reminds me of something.
Remember the times we used to play
We'd sing and we'd dance all damn day
But all I do is sing the blues
But have I forsaken you by telling you
What you must do
And all I do is sing the blues
But I would never lie, let things go by
Leave you in a road to die
I would never ever say good bye
Never gonna say good bye
Never gonna say good bye
Remember the times that we
Used to share
You got to remember the times
That we used to share
That we used to share
But the only way for you to survive
Is to open your heart it will guide
You wanna stay in this world of music and life
You got to turn around
And spread a little love and get high
- Lenny Kravitz
Remember the times we used to play
We'd sing and we'd dance all damn day
But all I do is sing the blues
But have I forsaken you by telling you
What you must do
And all I do is sing the blues
But I would never lie, let things go by
Leave you in a road to die
I would never ever say good bye
Never gonna say good bye
Never gonna say good bye
Remember the times that we
Used to share
You got to remember the times
That we used to share
That we used to share
But the only way for you to survive
Is to open your heart it will guide
You wanna stay in this world of music and life
You got to turn around
And spread a little love and get high
- Lenny Kravitz
Monday, May 14, 2007
A Study in Contrast
He sits there in the dewey grass at the edge of his world, as a new day rises.
Everything has been brought together to define this one moment. The knowledge from the past, with the objectivity of the present, mingle with the uncertainty of the future. He takes the time to survey all that is laid before him, and stiffly straightens his arms for that one last push skyward. As his feet feel the slick dampness of the grass and dirt, it is altogether familiar and strange. A study in contrast ...
While uncertain of where it may lead, he follows the sounds of his world as he takes each step. While knowing and not truly knowing where it will go, he places one foot in front of the other and moves closer to his edge. Peering over he sees the end and the beginning, and all that lies in between. He chooses a specific point and leaps upward and onward into something ... that is altogether familiar and strange ...
The landing has been decided, the events preceeding and proceeding it have been determined, and while it is old and known, it is somehow new and different.
Everything has been brought together to define this one moment. The knowledge from the past, with the objectivity of the present, mingle with the uncertainty of the future. He takes the time to survey all that is laid before him, and stiffly straightens his arms for that one last push skyward. As his feet feel the slick dampness of the grass and dirt, it is altogether familiar and strange. A study in contrast ...
While uncertain of where it may lead, he follows the sounds of his world as he takes each step. While knowing and not truly knowing where it will go, he places one foot in front of the other and moves closer to his edge. Peering over he sees the end and the beginning, and all that lies in between. He chooses a specific point and leaps upward and onward into something ... that is altogether familiar and strange ...
The landing has been decided, the events preceeding and proceeding it have been determined, and while it is old and known, it is somehow new and different.
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