Friday, September 30, 2005

..... and then boredom hits

Alright ... I was completely satisfied with not doing anything and then boredom hit ... There is only so much surfing you can do before you feel like typing something, plus this way it lookss as though I'm busy. Anyways here is something that really bothers me - people who take other people's stories and try to pass them off as their own. What's even worse is when the story is your story and the person telling it has forgotten that you were the one that told it to them in the first place. All of a sudden you're in a bar, room, wherever and this person starts going on about this hilarious thing that happened to them, and in most cases it would probably be pretty funny ... except for the fact that it's you story!!!

In an attempt to remedy this situation I have decided to take the following actions to the next person who tries to pass my story off as their own:
  1. Point out that it's my story, and then make fun of them for not having a life of their own until they are thoroughly humiliated ... if they consider suicide as their only option then so be it.
  2. Follow their story and humiliation with an even more humiliating true story about them. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet somewhere, and nothing says sweet embarassing revenge like telling everyone about the time that "X" crapped themselves while trying to squeeze one out ... and this is not in reference to anyone I know now or ever ... maybe ...
  3. If after 1 and 2 they still do not consider suicide as a viable option .... then bludgeon them with a ceramic p*nis (Clockwork Orange for those who are clueless)
So there if after all that ... the person still insists on passing your stories off as their own ... well then there is no hope for humanity, and you may as well just take a dump in their heating duct when they aren't looking so that for months and months they will be confused by where that smell is coming from ... where IS that smell coming from????

What is a Jermil?

A jermil is a small furry animal ... it's half me and half gerbil ... they can be found in tight, sweaty crevaces, and can usually be coaxed out of hiding with beer. Therefore Jermil's cage are thoughts from a jermil from his cage ... see how this all comes together?

That my friends is a jermil ...

p.s. people feel free to expand on this definition of a jermil.