masturbating the mind

... jerking your soul ... slapping five with the big snake ... ummmm ...

and I'm back with another wonderful entry to entice all you non believers into believing in, well ... nothing really. I have nothing to peddle, no sh*t to shovel, and definitely no gruel to eat. mmmmm ... gruel .... fungus .... cheese ... Nope absolutely nothing. So why am I writing? I really have no idea. Chances are the lepers have escaped from the farm, and are playing baseball with Bobby Lee's arm and ... well I won't say what their using for the ball ... and I definitely won't say what their using to catch said ball, but let me say that their using various sacks for the bases. Sacks filled with sand, to give it that base feeling. Especially when you step on it - unfortunately some of these sacks are still attached ... umm you know where this is going.

Anyways I have yet another question that perhaps someone out there in cyberspace can answer for me. Blogs ... who has any interest in reading these things? From my understanding there are a few kinds ... one gives opinions on various subjects, others try to be informative and focus on one specific thing, and then you have the others (much like this one) that seem to be for personal use. I find it fascinating that some people feel the need to write down every little sh*tty thing that happened to them that day. What's even more interesting is that some retards actually post comments. Like "OH my God, I feel so bad that you got your period ..." Seriously peoples who fu*k'n cares? Why do you actually care if some twat got her period. Or some moron was able to jerk his pug off. I mean really, you have nothing ... I mean NOTHING to do? Literally ... you could be researching the cure for cancer, or trying to help starving children, but instead you sit there and type some comments about some ass munchers sh*tty day? WHO CARES about their shitty day ... damn it, I have shitty days 90 percent of the time, and I don't sit here going over every crappy little thing ...

I know ... some of you are thinking "Well what are you doing that's so different? Isn't this personal." First of all how about a little less yapping and a lot more SHUT THE HELL UP. I'll tell you exactly what I'm doing. I'm sitting here procrastinating. I have other more serious things to do, it's just that from time to time I enjoy sitting around and typing some random BS ... I'm simply pointing out that there are a lot of tools out there that feel the need to do this multiple times a day, and not only that but there are people that actually read all of the posts and submit comments. I just find the whole thing odd, and considering what a sick demented pervert some people think I am, me finding YOU odd is not a good thing. On the not a good thing list it would be second right below a thousand papercuts on any appendage and then swimming in a vat of rubbing alcohol ... you know the burn and pain will get through the clothes at some point. (I'll let you pick which appendage .... but here are a few suggestions for those lacking imagination - penis, ass, back ... my personal favorite NIPPLES ... ouch can you imagine how much that would hurt? ... no seriously let's just think about that for a second ... papercuts ... thousands ... on your nipples ... rubbing alcohol .... owwww)

Where was I ... oh yeah I'm just procrastinating and I will never ever take this blog thing seriously. So for all of you who do ... eat a big metaphorical dick ... or a real one if that's more to your liking ... with plum sauce, and a healthy serving of nuts to round out the meal.

see ya later ...

next week's topic ... "America's Fascination with Fast Food" or as I like to call it "Putting the F back in FAT B*TCHES" or "Making Rosie one Filet-o-Fish at a time" or "Paying Ronald to sh*t down my throat and I'm Lovin' It" or "Having the Pillsbury Dough boy pump me full of 'frosting' and laughing about it all the way to the bank." ... you get the idea.