I feel like I'm walking through an endless pile, with each step sinking me deeper and deeper. Once in awhile a step forward takes me higher ... up ... and out, but the next step inevitably brings me back down even further than before.
It's a tease ... a taste of something that you want and as quickly as you can have it, it's taken away from you.
What am I talking about? The chain of events that for one reason or another keep coming wave, after never ending wave. I thought that for the most part I was past the bad, and it was on to the good ... so then why am I back here? Why do things keep happening?
It just makes me wonder when and if things will get better. Actually ... I know things WILL get better, that's not the problem ... the problem is WHEN. I'm growing rather impatient with the fates, god(s), forces that be ... I'm almost afraid to ask how much worse it can get because I know it can get worse and I'm afraid someone/something might answer.
I'm just very tired of having to deal with one thing or another ... I'm also very tired of writing about doom and gloom, I'm tired of thinking about it, I'm tired of talking about it, I'm tired of the negative thoughts, and the endless amount of cliches people tend to feed you in times like this ... most of all I miss ME.
You know what ... I'm done. I refuse to be dragged down by any of it anymore, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm dragging others down with me. No more whining, complaining, bitching ... because honestly as exhausting as it is to talk about and think about, I'm sure it's just as exhausting to have to listen to it ... for what feels like YEARS now.
It, whatever "it" is had it's moment, and I think now would be a good time for an exit. So I'm putting an end to it ... right ... now ...
... but before whatever is responsible for this endless pile can get out the door ... I'm going to grab it, and choke the living sh*t out it ... :) Who hasn't ever wanted to do that?
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