where am i?

This could be a long one so I hope you've got time ... Everything happens for a reason ... or at least that's what I've been told.

Things work out the way they should ... blah blah blah.

I find it funny where everyone is in life. Some people are just learning about themselves, other people think they have it all figured out ... I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone, but I don't think you ever really know ... I think you can figure out certain situations, I think you are always learning about yourself, and I think you can figure out you "right now" but you never really have it all down and set in stone. If you do, then that's too bad ... because no one is ever prepared for everything.

So much has happened over the past month and a half ... and most of it ... actually all of it was not good. I wonder if this is karma coming back to kick me in the ass for the terrible things I've done. Sometimes I wish I didn't believe in karma, because it means I deserve this somehow. Maybe this is just a down time ... or maybe this is the result of too much thought. Whatever it is, it certainly isn't fun.

I still haven't thanked that person ... I still miss them, and I still care about them deeply. At least I figured that out. (I hope you read this because I want to tell you all this ... i also want to let you know that you truly inspired me to do something good and worthwhile, not only for myself but for others, for that ... thank you.)

I feel like a coward for writing this here. I should be saying it to that person with my own voice instead of words just thrown into cyberspace. I wish I had that chance, or that opportunity to do so ... I still have hope that I will, but as every day passes ... I just don't know.

So where am I? It depends on the day ... right now though ... I'd have to say somewhere between here and there ... I thought I would have more to say, and I do but part of me says this is neither the time or place.