For whatever reason I haven't listened ... Not when friends were telling me how screwed up the whole situation was, not when action after action hinted at something evil ... I kept pushing on with blind faith.
My biggest fault ... and it's something I really need to work on ... is that I only see the good in people. It's not always a problem, but in certain instances I let it mask the truth, and so I don't look past the shiny veneer of good to see the large dark ugly mass of bad lurking in the back.
Why am I writing this? Mainly because it recently dawned on me that this person is not who they say they are ... not who they believe they are. My part in the whole drama was letting myself believe the lies they said ... letting myself be taken in by the show and the character they were portraying. In the end the wall cracked and I was finally able to see past everything ... to stare at the darkness hidden in that person and I now realize that I should never ever want to associate myself with someone ... or something like that.
It's hard to come to terms with the fact that there are truly terrible, horrible human beings out there. I don't know if they realize it but they are walking contradictions. How can you consider yourself to be respectful or respectable when you're actions indicate otherwise?
The tough part is knowing that they can seduce you with their lies ... with their act ... and blind you to the truth.
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